To be entirely in situation so that even that thin layer of freedom in every situation, the part that is outside itself and which makes the situation, any situation, possible is thoroughly steeped in the predominating mood. It is in internal motion, a sort of orbiting back upon itself, like being reminded over and over again, re-minded, and this is constrained to a tight compass, so that you only squint in passing at the space in which it takes place. So fast and so populated with ghostly presences from whom you take account and shame. It's not the circumstances but the way you accede to them, something in the heart that has to overcome this song but is so tired of the fight. It is exactly on these occasions where you can barely resist, where your powers are at a minimum, your language weakest, that you have to begin to push back, where that which has never been done before is offered. You are not the suffering but the resistance to suffering, the minute no.