It's not about awareness of awareness but the impassioned belief in a reality outside awareness. Such a belief as much lived in body as entertained in mind is at least as real as any of its objects, that is, its results. It is attested not by any direct experience but by the consistency with which it is imbricated with every other formal objectivity, together with the altogether false idea that such consistency constitutes a proof or highly significant piece of evidence for what it asserts. It's the passion behind it that counts and that is made out of negativities, out of ideas of suffering. If your pain corresponds to a history of some kind of buried trauma or guilt then you are going to have a pretty strong investment in the unremembered past and a strong belief that a feared exhumation and resolution of that past lies between you and any sort of freedom. But again, consider that from the perspective of awareness the passion is on exactly the same footing as every other kind of transcendentally motivated experience. And this goes also for the presumption that some sort of coherent structure of references is involved, and that there is an owner or locus of such references. If the smallest thing collapses then the whole lot collapses - all of it relying on the same trick. And the trick too, and the idea of there being such a trick, and so on and so on. It's never that it isn't but only that there never was anything like it at all, or that there is something to see or something not to see, or anyone seeing or not.