Flawed intention falsifying every move as you look back, as far as you can see, but where does it come from this cunningly articulated recursion? You are always a step or two behind, wide-eyed, belated and kind of oafish in your tired innocence. Eventually you'll have to embrace the clown but put it off as long as you can, one more day, turn about and lose sight of it in the fog, and quickly patch up some workable compromise to start again from exactly the same place as before.