There is a perspective of motivations. You are fully embodied in each action that you take, the motive is your own without any equivocation in the moment of the action, but the sum of your actions has no coherence, the actor is unrecognisable from one to the other, and so they belong to you in a perspective where a motive can lie concealed behind another motive or memory or image. The lived metaphor is that of a complex and capacious architecture such as in varying forms is the setting for every dream you've ever had. As you move through a house or building or landscape certain things come into view while others are lost. It's the way that incompatible motives are non-dialectically synthesised, and is the reason why your lived subjectivity is always tied to a topography, or an even more strange topology. It you were to take the position of absolute subjectivity this quasi-spatiality would be completely flattened so that nothing could be concealed. The concealment is an illusion of immanence, as if something objectively independent of you intervened in the midst of your self-presence. Take this away and all motives become equal, all are equally what contains you and can no longer contain you. This indifferent exposure is why you can never occupy the position of absolute subjectivity - or at least you never would be able to if you weren't always and already that.