Guilt and shame, which may well be the same thing, do not require the other's view of the self, or its proxy, to eventuate but can arise out of the self's internal structure as a falling short in one's own eyes and the concomitant adoption of a defensive posture. Or perhaps the defensive posture comes first and leads to feelings of shame in order to become pragmatically stable. The point is that the burden of sin arises without the presence of a God and the notion of an infringed command. The need for a God arises to explain such feelings in a way that makes it possible to be saved from them. The gaze of the other offers the possibility of being freed from the cycle of shame and defense. You cannot bring this about through your own self love, but you can love another in such a way as to see through their shame. Thus in the sight of a loving father God your sins can be dissolved, if you fulfill certain attainable conditions. This is the opposite of the way it is normally thought of, the other's gaze does not impose guilt and shame but offers the promise of redemption from their wholly endogenous effects.