Unreflecting experience is direct and one-fold but on condition of being unaware of itself. Experience with reflection however i never what it purports to be, it is not unreflecting experience doubled over in reflection, since that which is reflected on is only a notion, a representation, or even just an hypothesis of experience. What is unreflected in it is the reflection which takes on a maddening quality since it has surrendered its naivety for no gain. You might think that like Faust you await the moment when it would be worth stopping time, but actually any and every moment would be worthwhile if it could be stopped, or if it could be gained through and through in reflective doubling. The problem is that it can't be done, not with this moment or with any other, none is more apt than another. The self is not some notional subject-object but simply the fulcrum with which such a complete realisation of a moment of consciousness could be effected. That's why it is sought for, and the sense of a great and indelible joy is intimated behind every failed attempt, just as the mirage of this self hovers just over the horizon of every joy. It is a sort of carrot and stick that keeps you going in circles.