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Friday, 6 March 2020
Awareness of consciousness is a sudden and involuntary thing, it is common enough but spontaneous and not to be imitated. Imitations of it are common enough too, and have little significance other than to show how experience can be recycled. The sense of self that arises in the small gap that opens is just that, a subtle sensory phenomenon, a certain colour, flavour, heat, motion, a recognisable sensation that is easily taken to be your self. When you look for yourself you try to submerge in that sensation, which is obviously futile, but on the other hand there is something fine and delicious in that sensation when left to itself. When you seem to recognise it in an aesthetic perception it brings great pleasure. It can almost be talked about or traded with others. Again, the awareness of consciousness can also be mistaken for self-consciousness, which is the internalised reflection of your appearance to others. It is as if the awareness is immediately captured by this social consciousness which immediately ramifies into thoughts as internal dialogue, giving rise to a variety of rich motives and emotions. The original moment, the pure awareness, if it is from any point of view is purely your own, or outside of any possible imaginary situation.
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