It is the stuff of comedy, that core of egoic enjoyment behind every facade, the the real accounts you keep hidden away from all exposure. You know it's true for you but you doubt that it is so for others, and you laugh uneasily when this is apparently confirmed. And if it were to be exposed in you you would be the first to condemn it, quite sincerely, you recoil from its pure selfishness, its antisociality, but your recoil, which is a spontaneous reflex from the attitudes you would openly maintain out of a self-interest thinly veiled as a concern for the general good, takes its origin from exactly the same knot of self-interested feelings. As a sinner it is impossible to feel genuine remorse for your sin, because the first thing to have been corrupted is your scale of values. The sinful act came after that, almost as an indifferent corollary. So you can't disidentify, but you can notice the odd way that the emotional climate can suddenly flick into its (photographic) negative. If it is only made out of plus and minus markings, ultimately conventional marks, what's to stop them from reversing in valence. They only have the values they have because they are keyed into a larger system attached to immediate feelings. But there are so many of these latter, often at odds with each other, and with only a relative sort of valence, that there is no hard barrier to reversal. Experience that enough times and perhaps some distance can be gained.