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Wednesday, 2 January 2019
To have reached the end of the project, having used and used again every curious feature of the field. To find the knower merged into the known and the known emptied of all interest. An eternity of Sunday afternoons, not knowing if you are awake or asleep. For there to be no issue from this and to be perfectly resigned to there being no issue. Were you going towards something or fleeing something else? There was a will at work, there is still the same will at work, and is it a wholehearted one or is it divided against itself? From what deep roots is it fed? You don't know and you don't know how to find out. The lack of knowing and the lack of a knower are smeared together in calm watchfulness.
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