To see it as broken or knotted or founded on an absence from which it can never recover, to see it as some sort of topological monster, is to take the point of view that would be that of consciousness if there were or could ever be such a thing. If you bear down on it with all your force you'll inevitably fall into some such notion and it will prevent you from noticing that this is just a way of affirming a seeking subject - for which there is no other evidence. Bear down by all means but do it lightly, the mereset feather touch slyly going in underneath the assumptions, or rather underneath where they would be supposed to be if there were even anyone to make such assumptions. It is not a matter of deconstructing the self but of undressing it gently as if it were a lover. It is a very different gesture from that of thought, entering into a dance that has always been going on and in which everything takes part.