What you strive to do never succeeds because what you are actually doing is never what you think you are doing. This is fine as long as one of the things you want is above all to continue wanting. To awaken in thought would be to achieve mastery or detachment, and perhaps these are the same, but mastery over what or detachment from what, if not from the restless inventions of desire? What would it be to awaken in your wanting? There is something like a dialectic of desire because directly approached each desire opens to reveal a deeper desire, more challenging still. We like stories in which the protagonist resolves their desire, so that we can believe that desires are capable of being resolved, as if it were a good that desire could be resolved or tamed, that its plurality can bring about a viable compromise in which the power of wanting can be put to work, in which the destructive ferocity of wanting forms a fading background to the vanities of thought. But while wanting can be deflected to some degree or numbed it can never be destroyed.