Ongoing the succession of interrelated events originating both in your own mind and from your external worlds which prompt collection in quickly sketched situations, little scenarios you are aware of creating, almost spontaneously, to gather and orient diverse moments into matters on overlapping time scales, and which achieve the mood of initial approbation, the first moment, the first acknowledgment being a neutral kind of 'yes', out of which an emotional reaction is aroused, the emotion being initially not made by you but as if sent or delivered to you from an internal elsewhere. It is at this point that you enter in again with a decision as to whether to reinforce or dampen that emotion, to build it up in a loop of feeling, or ignore it, or reverse it into its opposite. It is in the regime of emotions that you support or repress or deny that the action of what seems to be your self is found. This ecology of emotion is what is most native and most contingent, what you learn about when you say that you know yourself through experience of life. It is what you stubbornly cultivate and try to modify according to ideas and ideals dragged in from various reflections. The more you get to know it the more contingent it seems - there's no clear reason to go one way rather than another, other than your lazy investment in the idea of its inevitability, of your prior existence.