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Monday, 5 February 2018
You can make out three distinct personalities that are prominent in three different liminal phases of the waking mind. There is am early morning self who retains a virginal sense of pristine containment, who would like things to remain clear and distinct and at a distance. It welcomes the freshness of the day and disavows remembered history, or whatever you might have done the night before, but enjoys the cataloging of fragments of dream narratives as merely amusing curiosities. Detached and Apollonian, it is present-centred and especially glad to be freed from any relationship to the self who arises in the intervals of wakefulness during the earliest morning hours, say between 1 a.m. and 4 a.m. This latter self is an entirely distinct personality, it is anxious, fearful, urgent, and seemingly hyper-clear in its thinking. It takes in a large temporal perspective on life and it makes connections easily and with great conviction. It is an interpreter of narratives and believes itself to possess superior insight even to the point of prophecy. Its style of thinking is best described as paranoid, and if it takes any pleasure this is not in its findings but in its own lucidity. It is especially condemnatory of the narrow temporal perspectives of the other two selves, to say nothing of the median waking self, the main non-liminal personality. The third personality is the evening one, this one is sensual, greedy, louche and amoral. It arises, Hyde-like, with a sense of liberation, as if it has just been released from jail, and it greatly regrets the time wasted in between its successive awakenings and the resultant lack of focus on its priorities. Its time perspective is intermediate to that of the two others. Each of these three selves or personalities has a clear set of desiderata, a differential valuing of the choices available, and in this sense they differ from the median waking self who tends to navigate blindly, lacking any clear intuition of values. You could say that they each present the waking self with a list of priorities and the latter is taxed with negotiating some sort of compromise between the contradictory imperatives. It is likely that each of these selves corresponds to a distinct pattern in the brain. These personalities are marginally aware of but dismissive of each other, they cannot identify, refuse any mediation. They compete for something. What is it that they compete for?
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