Accompanying every desire there can be the thought, 'Now this is just for me', which represents a sort of transcendental unity of desires, which otherwise barely manage in their diversity to fail to tear us to pieces. If only they were just desires, without them being your desires, but that's exactly what's impossible. But at the same time you find that in particular your desires aren't yours at all, they are entirely social, situational, they depend on your interactions and dispositions for interactions. An other can cause desire to implode, so that it suddenly disappears, and you lose (self-)orientation, or they can arouse desires that are already blocked, envy, which is an unavowed desire for destruction of the other. Or you can rely on the other to elicit your desire, this might be your very mechanism of desiring, to acquiesce in an already existent desire - but with an escape hatch, 'that wasn't what I meant at all.' Or exploratory - try out different things until you find what it is you really want - it might be more important that desire be defined and fixed, than that it be keen. In so far as there is free choice you ring the changes in desire within a set frame, what makes you possible. The mechanisms that tie the feeling of self to the cult or culture of desire, these must be what is meant by the wheel of life.