Being an objective self in interaction with other objective selves in the context of a shared world is something you have come to, an achievement that has been reached along a certain path. It was a work of time carried on with decreasing relish as day followed day and now only glimpsed in foreshortening, concentric layers pressed tight against each other. You find yourself far inland, far from the shore that you struggle nightly to revisit in dreams - but how can you ever remember the series of meanders, the forks that brought you to this place and time? Mediations, separations, deferrals, exchanges, compromises - all of these name the peculiar quality of events in which you were both active and passive, where you seemed to choose but were chosen, where you seemed to lead but were led. In the heart of each fresh moment the whole journey is recapitulated, every choice is relived again and this gives a hazy, translucent and illuminated quality to the inevitability you discover, the archaeology of the present is the very present itself in act. You are not thrown you are the ever-present throwing.