His nostalgie de la boue. How delightful he found it to surrender to thoughtless descent into to the thicket of vying forces. Prismatic dartings back and forth of every kind of judgment and expectation, of envy, contempt, vague desires instantly checked, and a thicket of distracting identifications, all the things that were rightfully his, pieces of his puzzle, stories re-encountered and resumed after a long-seeming gap. All that urge and obduracy, he found it maddening as hell, but bracing in its simplifications. He was newly fascinated by the quintessential form of subject-object whose familiar form re-emerged out of the fog of banality.