You can wonder about the nature of reality, is it 'really' real or is it a peculiarly self-consistent kind of dream? Is it enough that it is 'real for you' or does it need to be independent of you? Questions of this kind tacitly assume that the questioner is the reference point or touchstone for the reality in question, as if what they are asking is 'is my reality as real as I am?' Even if you flip this around and take the questioner as the doubtful element and ask whether the self is 'objectively' real the same game is being played. Of course the questioner is deficient in reality since it can never be fully exposed, of course objective reality is deficient because it is a product of memory. Take away the idea of reality and the idea of appearance goes too. No words remain for the event, which neither is nor isn't.