Self - gives the sense of large double-door behind you, normally closed so that you are your 'self', but when it opens you fall back and back far behind the little lighted clearing you are in now, into a vast and velvet dark space, so this was self all along. The narrative self certainly has rich turns and mysterious unfoldings, it is narrative after all, but it's not actually self, only self-ish, rather charmingly self-ish. Again the odd thing is how easily this intuition develops; you want to love self, or feel that self is love, but there is no way this can apply to the narrative self which has no real substance, but that pure self behind appearances, indifferent to metaphysics, but still behind appearances, literally behind them...