It's not that you suffer from the illusion of being or having a self with innate being but that you are habitually in search of such an entity while simultaneously doubting that it can be found. By looking for it you hope to bring it about, being just ahead of yourself. Human experience is such a search and it takes many forms, of which perhaps the least troublesome is the one directed towards confirmation via knowing. When it aims at confirmation by feeling or willing the results are more troublesome and more interesting. It has a terrible beauty because of its pure contradiction. But what you inherit from your historical culture is a way of framing the search and an intensity in pursuing it. As soon as the search relaxes or temporarily halts you are more than ready to laugh it off as absurd, seeing that there's clearly no such thing and that it doesn't matter even it there were, but you are still far from pulling out the idea by its root.