The more refined the consciousness, the more subtle and penetrative it becomes, the wider the scope of your experience that it unifies. In this way a greater part of what functions as your life history both as stored memories and as ongoing creation is revealed as the natural concomitant of whatever it is that functions as subject, or better of the ongoing ever-present functioning itself. So inevitably your metaphysical self is exposed in self-reflection. What is it that you will see here? Is it a sort of meaningless patchwork, like the diverse sensory data around which dreams crystallise, a fundamental incoherence which is unified only by a belated fabulation? Or is it something with a unity of its own a soul with its own ultimately necessary being inherent in a greater Being? The former is perhaps the Buddhist or the neurological version, the latter the Platonic or spiritual reality founded on a soul. Roughly summed up you could say that in one case the ultimate truth only the unveiling of the basic error of ascribing inherent being to the transient, in the other it is your place in the Pleroma or the mind of God, from which there remains a further step to take into the uncreate. Are these really alternatives, or do they only differ as projections onto time, time which itself, in either case, but perhaps in different ways, is non-existent? At any rate, although you might lean one way or the other, there is no reason to foreclose either alternative. See them both as expressions of fundamental doubt.