It's like dying in slow motion, and you are trying to make it as slow as possible. Isn't that just a definition of life? But it has its ups and downs, its anabolic and catabolic stresses and butresses. Most interesting is the breaking down part, so you'd better build up something substantial enough to make it worth the candle. Or it's like Achilles and the Tortoise, you think that you are Achilles forever trying to reach the second milepost by only going half as far each time, that is your limit, made up out of all your delicious and bitter sins, heaped up, a bulwark of half-truths and unfinished conversations that will be enough to hold 'em, yes, bring 'em on they'll never get past... while the tortoise without seeng anything there at all serenely waddles into the void.