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Friday, 3 August 2018
That as this happens it happens somewhere, must be happening somewhere - such a thought sees the happening of experience as if it had an indelibly objective component, which might mean that it is witnessed by me as if it were being witnessed by someone else, or could be so witnessed. That it is, it is not enough that it be purely for itself, there must be something that is for itself, something positively there and not merely, privately, negatively, here. These are surreptitious ways in which objectivity is smuggled in to subjectivity - as a defense, perhaps against being quite alone. What is it that is frightening about the moment of death but that final solitude - every prop fallen away, they will all be left behind, and you had never before seen how vast was the structure you carried with you to sustain your sense of identity, of self-existence, how cleverly you built it so that the positive and the negative fed into each other - all that structure is made of thought and you are leaving thought behind, because it can't accompany you across the abyss - you go naked. Again, what do you know of the consciousness that you are but that for you consciousness is inseparable from some sort of reflection, the concept merged with that of conscience - you are there to be seen, you recede in images - as if this is of the essence when it is only of the thought-structure - too bulky to pass through the final aperture.
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