Awareness doesn't arise in you, you arise in awareness, as if you are no more than a fully articulated vehicle for the particularisation of consciousness. Why particularise, why the need to do so? Actually it's done quite poorly and incompletely most of the time. The particularisation of what you are is a goal you are in the way of achieving, to be entirely present, to fully exist, rather than just taking existence for granted, it passes through a knot which is taken to be the 'I', the concentration of all the lines in a singular point. But the goal is not ahead of you, it is behind you, you overshoot it continually by wanting to bring the mind along with you. Not enough to be, you must also possess the thought of being, its image, and so you retard it slightly in order to give the mind a little space in which to catch up. But this too, this slippage on the oblique is nothing but a mode of being - to be what it is that is in default of being - that's so human! A loved essence. It's on the way to something with the sort of irrepressible movement that exists in one of those optical illusions where you can't help but see the painted dots as swirling. It's an artifact of particularisation, the moire formed by the superimposition of two scales which don't quite coincide, sense and understanding, or love and surrender. A vast reality that is seeking to be born, it couldn't be if not for the Love which draws it.