Some of your basic assumptions may be true and others surely are way off the mark, but you can't distinguish among them and so you try to push them all to their limits to see which ones will be able to survive. If you came to what is known as a 'moment of truth' it would be immediately evident which of these beliefs imposed themselves on you from the very nature of things and which ones you had quietly been sustaining from other motives such as the 'sunken cost fallacy' or the magical idea that prolonging the quest serves to prolong the seeker. Whether a moment of truth of this kind ever arrives is immaterial to the reflection that on some level you know perfectly well what is true and what is error but that your will to separate them is impure. Or it might be that this idea about your ideas is precisely one of those equivocal assumptions? When you see up close how you rely on certain almost unchanging notions of reality which form the basis of the life you live and make that life what it is, and how these notions are confabulations taken on out of no self-interest or rational calculation, that they are at best 'foreign dust', with a sharp shock you are brought back to the forgotten self you have always been.