To have a self is to have purposes; the self is actualised in fulfilling its goals, and does not exist outside of such actualisation. Does that make the process conscious? Is there a kind of feedback loop between goals and abilities, predispositions and power? The autonomy required here is limited to the context, to the choice of means and not of ends, and surely this is at most a narrow and dream-like consciousness. The relation of desires to purposes is almost that of goals to means. A goal can always be revealed as only a means to another goal, at which point the first goal loses its desirous character, it becomes substitutable and empty, that is, not inhabited by any subjective substance. Goals can be more or less pure, irreducible to ends, not deflectable or distractable - and above a certain threshold are identified as desires. But desires are also fleeting, contagious, aery, fantastic. The object of desire, drenched in the promise of happiness, is hallucinatory, but the object seems only to instantiate desire and never to fully express it. This object is subject to so many contingencies which can act in unpredictable ways. Is it attainable or unattainable; is someone else, some alter-ego, currently enjoying it, or has it never been attained; is it enviable or contemptible, and so on? You step up to the object of desire with fear and trembling, but with the conviction that through it you will encounter your more original self.