Why are your thoughts your thoughts, why is your experience your experience? All of it is just happening in mind and the thought of an 'I' is just an idea, an abstraction, like any other thing. Perhaps it is because something has to anchor it, to root it, whether it is a thought or an experience so that it can be here, at this point in the space of the question, as this address in reference, something that holds the space open by being the open, by being open, empty. And the 'I' is 'it' just because it isn't there, or else, say that anything that was the anchor, that anchors, is the 'I'. So as a thought it's just a cascading back into itself, through layer after layer, past anchor anchoring anchor. If you went back the way you came, in time, but inside time, into the presence of presence, past the intimations of immortality, not on the shore but deep down in the water before words, to a phosphorescent creature one with its element, completely sufficient unto itself, hidden inside what was completely insufficient to itself, an unimaginable bliss devoid of all the markings of bliss.