From where did these expectations arise? It seems as if you took over certain vague promises that might have been made to you, or to someone like you, by someone or ones who happened to be there, or by some talk that was floating about, and made them your own. You took it for an assurance and you believed that the ground of it was in yourself. As if you'd recognised something only after it had been pointed to by others, but then forgot you ever didn't know. What you made of it is whatever you dreamed it could be when you dreamed yourself into being. When later you discovered that those others could never have identified, much less endowed, such a thing it was already too late. You were off and running. And when it all goes wrong, as it frequently does, who do you blame? Your own massive presumption or the half-remembered donors who have now been wholly absorbed into the fabric of the world?