To go in search of something is to first install or load the 'I' who would investigate. You must engage the detective before you can detect. There is no point in asking such an agent to investigate himself, he is merely a role, no, you would ask him to reveal you. According to the genre that is often exactly what the detective does, but in this case the game collapses since you are acting that role as well. What you ought to be able to acknowledge directly is that you experience the interaction of a self-system with a not-self-system. The self-system might be the one that supplies this distinction, without exactly grounding it, but the energy and whatever intelligence seems to be available comes from the not-self-system. This distinction is inherently slippery, and it might even see-saw quite excitingly, but it doesn't deconstruct itself. The possibility that it is an illusion that vanishes like a magician's knot can only be suggested from the outside, that is, by a wholly unexpected break. So for you there is really nothing to do, you might as well call off the hounds.