The style of thinking has become exhausted and now offers only variations on the same basic patterns. How can it become more exhausted, truly exhausted? There is a certain tone of voice, a ground position that you feel comfortable with in the moment but shows as artificial at one remove. Can emotion be merged with recollection or is the problem precisely the opposite, to remove the taint of recollection from the inscription of what are neither properly emotions nor thoughts? You don't try to take disidentification frontally, you sidle up to it and strike suddenly. It is the thing most taken for granted, the contraction of event into experience. In the fine structure of each observed movement of mind there is a synthesis of experience as yours which presumes a prior and latent understanding of mineness. Question the one who is curious, the one who wants to know, who squares up to the puzzle, who dredges the shadows behind... but behind what? Perhaps the real interest is in what metaphors get thrown up. Only a new twist in figurative language is needed, response of the mind faster than the mind. To be so quick that you have acted before you can intervene. The process is not on your side, is not on anybody's side, it is omnivorous and would eat your death as soon as anything your life can throw to it.