Objective reality is not only objective for you, but objective in ways wholly foreign to you. You can iterate this insight; the objectivity of last resort is what you are in search of. Why be interested in it at all? It is infused with a peculiar significance. Every distinction melts away unless rooted in this pure otherness by however remote a thread. If all meaning depends on it then does it possess its own significance? Impossible. It neither can nor can't - it is the complement of pure subjectivity and their identity can be neither asserted nor denied. Materiality is one name for the belief in this other that cradles your subjective experience and lends it a quality of objective being which you strive to encounter, to turn around on itself. The purely subjective being of inner experience has an unsatisfactory dream-like quality, an etheriality, a falseness. You want to find the mere being of the subjective world. Being devoid of adjectives or adverbs has an intrinsic satisfaction associated with it, it is beauty and rest, fully adequate to its place in totality - everything you are not. You can only mime this mere being of the subjective life. You watch it until it slows and subsides, but the disjunction in identity between the watcher and its object is unaffected, untouched.