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Friday, 11 November 2016
Your understanding of division is shaped around reflections on the experience of time, but this family of experiences is weighted towards self-differing. It is the nature of being in time that you cannot coincide with yourself, and that you are propelled in a distinct direction by this fissure in identity, this is how we each of us must discover time, already surrendered to it. And yet our ideas and feelings about the end of time, or freedom from time, are built around the notion of an end to separation - and separation, being always directed to the other or the outer, has a different history to that of self-differing. That I am a stranger to myself serves as no mediation for the other's strangeness to me. What preceded separation was not the union with the mother, although this is a common and far-reaching mistake, but an extraordinary innocence and openness, which we can sometimes recall in our relations with animals, this was not temporally prior to separation but it was separation entirely without reluctance, resentment or remorse, without re-doubling. The lines that set off the syntonic from the dystonic emerged from this but were unforeseen. They were inevitable results of a certain over-enthusiasm, of too much mind. Only then did separation assume its melancholy tone, the emptying of intimacy and the invention of solitude. A grief arose and was almost instantly suppressed so that it returns as both lachrimae rerum and the bracing obduracy of things.
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