Wednesday, 26 October 2016



There is a kinaesthetic component in self-awareness from which arises its quality of being located in a certain spot in the felt body. This spot is generally somewhere at the back; its being at the back coming before any sense of what it is the back of. It is inside the head while the world is all the way out there, and forwards is outwards. And within the head it is behind the eyes, yet only so far back. We can move the centre of awareness around inside the felt body but only to a limited degree. Growing calmer and consciously detached from our usual concerns it recedes back but only to remain within the boundaries of the subjective body. Our relaxing is an act of will and even our surrender of the capacity to intervene, as when we are awaiting sleep, is still a kind of will, and therefore is located in relation to a subtle musculature, an inner awareness of the energetic tensions that articulate this body. It is a body made up out of ideas and dispositions of action and intents, a sort of ministry of will, and while awareness in its purity does not fall under this category, it happens, in its perfect trustfulness, to be always linked to some act or process of thought, even just a shadow or image of will, which is enough to confine it within the cage of the body. This relationship of confinement is maintained even in dreams, for the most part, where the imagination is given free licence to reconceive the body as an entire world, as long as the essential containment is maintained. It is only in certain altered states that the correlation is broken, so that for example, you find yourself moving rapidly backwards in a far vaster space that begins behind your head. The feeling may be strange but awareness suffers no discontinuity or disorientation, rather a sense of relief, of a weight taken away, of an obtuse error, unworthy of the least nostalgia, suddenly abandoned.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.