Being in the world as a self meant awareness of responding to the world, and then of the breadth, freedom and capability of his response. There was also an element of this self that was a response to itself. He was, for example, aware that his response was narrow, that attention was entirely taken up with an habitual fragment of what could be delivered by his senses, and that the mechanism of attenuation was partly under his control, partly out of his control, and partly itself a response to something else, and therefore possibly able to be brought under his control. The question was where was his real self in all of this. Was it in the full and unbounded awareness, always deferred and deflected? Any move in that direction always felt as if it were a coming closer to the real. Or was it in the controlling mechanism, the hand on the aperture, since this was where he most felt engaged? A similar splitting into driver and passenger, or producer and audience, could be discovered in respect of freedom and capability. It was easy to identify with absolute spontaneity or power. Wherever he thought to stand he was always a part-self trying to bring a whole self into being. The process was endless and intrinsic, but the goal promised such rewards that it could not be questioned.