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September
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Sunday, 27 September 2015
There was a certain collection of ideas or patterns for ideas that formed his repertoire of deliberate actions and responses, his tool-kit, and so defined the range of moves that he would accept as expressions of his freedom. He could recognise himself in them as if seen from the outside, as if there was someone watching who could pick him out of any crowd. Against these there was a stylised set of predicaments arising out of an equally characteristic set of desires and imperatives, these expressed his unfreedom, and he would also think of them as the world's moves. This was because they were largely affected by chance events and transient states of objective affairs, and were most often results of or responses to his own ventures. His ideas attempted to anticipate the events, and the events were as much or more coloured by his own inadvertent contributions as by chance meanings. This interlocking system was never seen as working well, rather, his ideas were disorganised and imprecise, the world endlessly cunning in its provocations. The not working well was itself an idea, and he was thoroughly in thrall to it.
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