The event could suddenly take on the character of being too thick or too thin, and this was distasteful not only in regard to the content but as evincing a fear of, or a fear for, the self with its ability to painlessly implode and leave behind only a working shadow in its role. On the other hand the perceived uncertainty could be the prelude to a relinquishing of the will, a delicious and necessary irresponsibility. The moment this second possibility arose he would experience a pulsation in the body, a chilling excitement, which marked the irreversible transition into the regime of injury and innovation.